Melinda and Melinda

It seems probable that two lives lived in basically the same way with about the same trials and challenges could be perceived in two completely different ways - one as full of joy, happiness, and blessing and the other as painful, lonely and unfair. But I don't think we come to the end of our lives and just "end up" in one polar opposite or the other. Instead, every day is filled with simple choices that determine the perception of a life's outcome.

A couple weeks ago, I watched an older Will Ferrell movie that slipped under the radar, called Melinda and Melinda. It starts with four film writers sitting around a dinner table discussing how the same basic details of a story can be turned into a tragedy or a comedy. What follows are the "two" stories of Melinda, played out side-by-side, one a tragedy, the other a comedy.

While it wasn't where the movie ended up going, it made me think about how I look at the events that take place in my own life.

I've certainly gone through seasons of thinking that life sucks, God is unfair, and that I wasn't getting what I "deserved" - and that never ends up well. No one wants to be around a bitter person that's mad at the world, and things never change for the better when there's no hope and no expectation of change and blessing.

On the other hand, I've also gone through seasons where, still difficult, by God's grace I've managed to choose joy, hope, and the discipline of thankfulness. This is probably one of those seasons, and while life isn't maybe exactly what I'd hoped it would look like, I've been blessed to experience love, growth, and joy like never before in my life.

And it's certainly not fate or happenstance that I've ended up here, but a choice to wake up each day, expect to experience the Lord's mercy and grace, and to choose thanksgiving before complaining, joy before misery, and blessedness before bitterness.

In a recent article in Rolling Stone magazine, Stephen Colbert had some insightful things to say about suffering after the loss of his mother.

"Not to get too deep here, but the most valuable thing I can think of is to be grateful for suffering. That is a sublime feeling, and completely inexplicable and illogical, but no one doesn't suffer. So the degree to which you can be aware of your own humanity is the degree to which you can accept, with open eyes, your suffering. To be grateful for your suffering is to be grateful for your humanity, because what else are you going to do - say, 'No thanks?' It's there. 'Smile and accept,' said Mother Teresa. And she was talking to people who had it rough."

As you continue in a discipline of joy and gratitude, I think you will find that your "tongue-in-cheek" kind of thankfulness will turn into an unforced, real, and genuine kind of thankfulness that overflows in every situation and is extremely contagious.

And perhaps, no longer will you have to rack your brain trying to find the good in every situation, but you'll be able to trust in the Lord's goodness and find a joy and peace that surpasses all understanding.

Certainly, there is no greater or more difficult discipline than making the most out of suffering. But Scripture tells us that this discipline is of tremendous personal benefit.

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11

Training is hard, yet it's worth it. It's meant to inflict pain so that we can flourish in the midst of lesser trials. But it's also a choice. Suffering doesn't automatically equal training unless we choose to be trained by it.

So choose wisely, because no one wants to be that old, lonely, grumpy guy at the end of their lives. -CK