Counting the Cost

"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." -Matthew 10:37-39

I'd always heard stories of believers in foreign countries that begin a relationship with the Lord only to have their families essentially disown them, but I've never actually come across this in my own relationships with any of the Christians that I have ever met.

Until now.

Last night, a third-year student in our fellowship and a friend of mine, we'll call him "Phil," had a conversation with his parents about how he was going to be baptized in a few weeks. His father didn't really understand "why" but also had no problem with it. "It's just a belief..."

His mother on the other hand was furious.

For generations upon generations in Phil's family, a certain tradition or culture had been formed regarding morals, values, rituals, and beliefs, some including Buddhism and ancestor worship. For someone in the family to depart from this tradition or culture is in many ways, to opt out of the family altogether.

Phil came to know the Lord last year and is the first Christian in his extended family. Even though I have run into many students whose parents and grandparents are Christians, his are not and believe that Christianity is something that has made the younger generation stray from their more traditional, cultural beliefs.

Phil is faced with a choice: Either give up or hide his faith in Christ that has drastically changed his life and that he is so passionate about or enter into a long, trying journey of trying to love his family despite their unwillingness to accept him.

Phil is choosing the latter. He will still be baptized in a few weeks and I will be there to support him.

Phil has hope for his family and trust in the power of God to change his family, to mend relationships within the family and to reconcile them to Himself.

I sat there praying with Phil about his situation and talking about our families and the hope that we have in God, nearly in tears at seeing his faith and trust in God's character to do something that seemed nearly impossible. Buddhism. Ancestor worship. Tradition. Culture. Phil has faith that God will overcome all of those obstacles.

In many ways, I have a lot to learn from Phil.

Go back to that passage from Matthew. I always thought that verse and ones like it were all about MY ability or resolve to be able to "give up" things or about my own strength and will-power to stick by Him even when people don't understand my faith or I go through seasons in my life that are difficult. But after last night I'm thinking it's about something completely different...

Trust.

If I trust that God is who He says He is and that He loves me and cares for me in the way that He says that He does, the "cost" of following Him fades into the background and there's nothing that I wouldn't do or "give up" to be with Him. It would just make sense to put Him before everything and everyone else.

Just like in a marriage relationship, first comes trust, then commitment.

May God reveal more of Himself to me so that I of little faith might be able to trust Him with ALL areas of my life.

CK