In Wednesday’s post, I talked about something I had come across recently, a “Credo for Support” for working with people with developmental disabilities. In Part One, I addressed how no one likes to be told that they need to change, but everyone needs people in their lives that can point out the sin that we ourselves can’t see. This post is a continuation, addressing more from the Credo about brokenness.
Probably the line from the Credo that stood out to me the most was this:
“Do not try to fix me because I am not broken.”
Any more broken than the rest of us?
No.
But broken nonetheless?
Yes.
Ever since beginning this job, I’ve wanted to keep at the forefront of my mind that I have many of the same problems, attitudes, and weaknesses as those with developmental disabilities that I work with. I daily have opportunities to recognize this if I’m careful to pay attention to it.
Two examples:
(These are fictional examples, only meant to illustrate some of the things I’ve realized I have in common with those I work with. Names and exact details have been altered or made up for the sake of confidentiality.)
#1
Two men, we’ll call them Jonathan and Nathan, are talking to each other during their game of basketball. One thing leads to another, and as often happens when you have two competitive people in a room, Jonathan takes the bantering a little too far and says something to demean Nathan’s basketball skills (something he’s quite proud of!).
Nathan’s natural reaction – to give Jonathan an earful with several choice words, hand gestures, yelling, and so on, creating quite the little scene in the park in the process. But at the root of what appears to be extreme behavior on the part of Nathan in the way that he reacts to the criticism, is the same thing that’s going on in my mind and heart when I’m in the same position. Anger, wanting to protect my reputation, pride, maybe even holding back physical aggression.
The only difference is, I know how to hide it better, and with Nathan, that filter that I have somewhere in my brain just doesn’t work the same.
#2
Another man, Lewis, is constantly talking about all of his different jobs. Some days he’s in the army, others he’s an engineer, or fire fighter, or professional athlete. Lewis will see someone from across the room and having never met them, proclaim to everyone, “That’s my friend!” Every night there’s someone’s birthday party to go to and every day he catches a huge fish or shoots a prize-winning deer.
In my opinion, what seems like very different, even obnoxious behavior and social tendencies is really just the result of a need that we all have – for community, to feel wanted, to feel like we’re contributing to society in some way.
And again, the same things resonate with me, and many of the things that I do in my own life are in pursuit of those very same needs.
The only difference is, I know how to hide it better.
* * * * *
I’m not all that different from the people that I work with. I have many of the same problems and behaviors as they do, but we all have the same thing going for us.
We were created in God’s image.
That means that when I set aside my pride and the comparison game and they let me into their lives and help me to see what’s really going on inside of them, we’re all capable of helping each other grow and to change, hopefully becoming more and more like the people that God created us to be. -CK
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