I had lunch for the second time with a student named Jacob today and we talked extensively about The Bridge to Terabithia, the Game Show Network, and how HE would arrange the stage if he had his own game show, among other things...
But I needed this conversation.
Because among those other things was a conversation about why he often feels he has no hope for his future and about the burdens and pressures that all East Asian students face during his season of life.
Jacob is a believer who spent several years in Houston as a child while his dad worked on projects there but has spent the last five or so years in Asia, his family often moving from city to city - somewhere around 10 moves in all, including one to America and a return trip home a few years later.
But he also seems to be one of the saddest, most hopeless people I know. Part of that is his lazy demeanor, but not most of it.
As he listed off all of the problems that he's facing and all of the pressures and burdens that have been put on him, I asked if there's anything that he looks forward to when he wakes up in the morning, or what motivates him to get out of bed.
The short answer - the weekend.
But he also took me back to his final year of high school and described a typical day for me:
6:00am - School starts
5:00pm - 7:00pm - Some kind of test, which they had DAILY
7:00pm - Go home to eat dinner and st-.......(study)
7:15pm - Fall asleep because he's too exhausted to do anything else
3:00am - Wake up to do his homework before class starts again
*Add to that a final test at the end of the year that determines his major, job, and to some extent, social status and well-being for the rest of his life, and repeat for the entire school-year.
--------------------------
I was absolutely blown away. I had heard that the final year of high school before the big test was crazy, but not THIS crazy.
Some students will repeat their final year of high school (with the type of schedule described above) one or two more times in order to try to get a better score and get into a better school or major. It's kind of like the career tests we took in 3rd grade, just for fun, to see what kinds of jobs we might be interested in. At the end we were told something like a policeman, clown, or lawyer, but none of it was for real.
His sister who is in SECOND GRADE goes to bed at midnight every night because it takes her that long to finish all of the homework assigned. Kids don't get to be kids and go run around outside or learn how to play sports or musical instruments, they're pounded into the ground by a severely flawed educational system.
The real tragedy in all of this comes after these students have graduated from high school and taken their final test.
Soon after, students like Jacob realize that college isn't all that it was made out to be and they're STILL under a ton of pressure and have hours and hours of classes each day.
He wakes up and thinks that it is all pointless and that all of the hard work that came before this was for nothing. Jobs are hard to come by, he hates the random foreign language that they stuck him with, and there's not much to look forward to.
After awhile of talking about this kind of stuff, he started asking the questions.
"What gets YOU out of bed in the morning? Why do YOU have hope? Do you have any goals or dreams in life?"
I told him about how, even though I wasn't nearly as busy as he was and still had a lot of fun and good things in my life, that school wasn't all that different for me. You wake up for 18 years of your life and go through the same routine every single day, maybe looking forward to a football game you get to go to or a concert in a month. I told him that it was HARD. Days are monotonous, going through the same thing day in and day out, and for what? I told him I often wondered why there was hope or what my purpose in life was beyond those walls.
And then I told him, that even now as a Christian, here in East Asia, there are still boring days and boring weeks, there's not always something big to look forward to in the immediate future.
Like right now, it's REALLY hard to be here because I know I get to go home in 35 days and I just want to be home and with my family and girlfriend.
But I told him, even then, I believe that there is hope and the possibility of experiencing joy every single day. God is everywhere and we need only to keep our eyes out for Him to experience Him in the smaller details of our lives. I told him that I get out of bed every morning, even if I think it might be a boring day because I truly believe, that EVERY SINGLE DAY, God has something in store for me. A classmate or friend that I can encourage, being able to tell someone about God, loving my family or girlfriend, etc, AND that every day, God wants to change me or to teach me something, and I want to be open to that.
I explained that I had NO IDEA what JOB I'd end up having even a year from now, but that I want 2 things to be true of me at the end of my life.
1) I'd rather have $10 in my bank account when I die and for people to have felt loved by me than to have $10 million and be a successful career person, only to not give a rip about people. I want my life to be about loving people, serving people, giving people food that need food, healing people that have diseases, giving shelter to those that have none, and so on.
2) I want to help people realize their full potential of what God has in store for them. People are talented and gifted in so many different ways and God wants to USE those things and give us purpose and fulfillment in life in the process. Like you, Jacob, it might not seem like there's hope, but God wants to use YOU, and your gifts for language and writing to love people and serve Him and tell others about Him.
Jacob responded, "Wow, that's very inspirational. Like a speech or something. I will try to remember your words."
I'd like to think that Jacob left our two-hour conversation in the coffee shop at least a little bit encouraged and with more hope for his future than he came in with, but who knows.
But if nothing else, I needed to have that conversation even for myself. Maybe it was just as much for me as it was for him.
To remind myself WHY I'm here and why I love and care about these people and to see and hopefully share in their worries and burdens. To be filled with compassion for Jacob and students like him.
To remind myself that EVERY DAY, there is hope, and there's a reason to choose JOY even when my circumstances would dictate otherwise. God wants to do things in and through me every single day. Am I going to let Him or am I going to "take the day off" because I'm looking forward to something else further ahead?
And to remind myself of the vision I feel like God's given me for my own life. I have no idea where that will take me, but I'm excited to be along for the ride!
"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." -Hebrews 10:23
-CK
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Orphanage Part II
If I'm honest, it's been REALLY hard to focus on what I'm doing here. It's been hard to focus on the Lord throughout the day. It's been hard to focus on anything but ME and my problems and the details of the next year or so of my life. I've tried to spend time with Him, sometimes considerable amounts of time, and sometimes it's been good, but it usually takes ALL of my energy and focus just to remove myself from the worries and distractions that have been burdening me.
So it was REALLY good to spend time with those kids and finally focus on something or someone other than ME.
I could tell that those kids are loved so much by the people that work there, and it was almost impossible to look somewhere and NOT see a child laughing, or smiling, or playing.
I went over to one kid who had a plethora of medical ailments and disabilities and asked his nanny if I could take him out of the stroller he was sitting in by himself and hold him. He immediately clung to me and laid his head on my shoulder as we walked around outside. He would then start to point to places he wanted me to take him since he couldn't work, and we almost always ended up by a slide.
Just going down a 5-foot slide while I held his arms made this kid SO unbelievably happy. I tried to remember the last time I probably looked as happy and full of joy as he did as I helped him go down the slide over and over again.
In that environment, it was impossible to focus on myself or let myself be burdened by the worries (sin) that had been consuming my life.
As I tried to process things throughout the day, I couldn't help but think about what an incredible representation of the Gospel and our relationship with the Father this orphanage is.
Every single one of these kids was at one point abandoned and as good as dead. No one to care for them and no hope for a future.
But someone came for them, they were rescued and not just cured of their physical ailment which once threatened to end their lives, but they're also adopted into families, many of which are from America or in places where they'll have far more opportunities and a chance for a better life than if they'd even been just a "normal" kid.
This blows my mind. Certainly, no one would ever wish what happened to these kids on anyone. Being left or given up by their parents because of their disabilities that made them "unworthy of love," countless surgeries, etc.
But what once threatened their lives, somehow, ironically, will now change their lives for the better, forever. They won't just return to "normalcy," but some family who will love them very well, provide for their every need, and give them a very promising future will come for them and adopt them into their own family, as their own son or daughter.
We are SO unworthy of God's love and grace, yet He came for us, rescued us, and gave to us the righteousness that was His alone.
"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will - to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves." -Ephesians 1:4-6
-CK
So it was REALLY good to spend time with those kids and finally focus on something or someone other than ME.
I could tell that those kids are loved so much by the people that work there, and it was almost impossible to look somewhere and NOT see a child laughing, or smiling, or playing.
I went over to one kid who had a plethora of medical ailments and disabilities and asked his nanny if I could take him out of the stroller he was sitting in by himself and hold him. He immediately clung to me and laid his head on my shoulder as we walked around outside. He would then start to point to places he wanted me to take him since he couldn't work, and we almost always ended up by a slide.Just going down a 5-foot slide while I held his arms made this kid SO unbelievably happy. I tried to remember the last time I probably looked as happy and full of joy as he did as I helped him go down the slide over and over again.
In that environment, it was impossible to focus on myself or let myself be burdened by the worries (sin) that had been consuming my life.
As I tried to process things throughout the day, I couldn't help but think about what an incredible representation of the Gospel and our relationship with the Father this orphanage is.
Every single one of these kids was at one point abandoned and as good as dead. No one to care for them and no hope for a future.
But someone came for them, they were rescued and not just cured of their physical ailment which once threatened to end their lives, but they're also adopted into families, many of which are from America or in places where they'll have far more opportunities and a chance for a better life than if they'd even been just a "normal" kid.
This blows my mind. Certainly, no one would ever wish what happened to these kids on anyone. Being left or given up by their parents because of their disabilities that made them "unworthy of love," countless surgeries, etc.
But what once threatened their lives, somehow, ironically, will now change their lives for the better, forever. They won't just return to "normalcy," but some family who will love them very well, provide for their every need, and give them a very promising future will come for them and adopt them into their own family, as their own son or daughter.
We are SO unworthy of God's love and grace, yet He came for us, rescued us, and gave to us the righteousness that was His alone.
"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will - to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves." -Ephesians 1:4-6
-CK
Facing the Giants
Cheesy movie, right?...Okay, if I'm honest, I think it's just downright bad. (Don't be offended, I know some of you LOVE it.)
So as it turns out, the most surprising thing I think I've heard ALL YEAR is that one of the students here recently accepted Christ after watching...you guessed it, Facing the Giants. Here. In EAST ASIA!
How that's even possible, I have no idea, other than we have a BIG God that can use ANYthing He pleases to bring glory to Himself!
I mean, Facing the Giants...really!?
So as it turns out, the most surprising thing I think I've heard ALL YEAR is that one of the students here recently accepted Christ after watching...you guessed it, Facing the Giants. Here. In EAST ASIA!
How that's even possible, I have no idea, other than we have a BIG God that can use ANYthing He pleases to bring glory to Himself!
I mean, Facing the Giants...really!?
Monday, May 4, 2009
New Hope
Hi everyone. Sorry for my long absence. I have clearly failed in my promise to use this thing more. I tried...But I do have something exciting I wanted to tell people about.
This past weekend, some of my friends and I had the opportunity to take a trip to an orphanage called New Hope. This particular orphanage is home to 50-some orphan children, most of whom are between the ages of six months and three years old.
From the minute we walked into this place, I was absolutely blown away. From the founder's story of how they decided to start an orphanage to how clean, organized, and efficient they are at meeting the children's needs, everything was very impressive. I would imagine that many orphanages can be a place of hopelessness and suffering, but that wasn't the case here. As soon as we walked through the doors, we were met with a blast of life, energy, love, and hope.
Before I end up sounding like an inspirational speaker, I'll leave it at that and tell you a little more about our day.
When we first arrived, the husband of the couple that started this organization gave us a short history of how things began and didn't shy away from telling us that he and his wife are Christians and that it was their faith that led them to leave behind their jobs and devote their lives to helping orphans in this country. He explained that something like ten years ago, they visited a different orphanage in a more rural area and couldn't believe their eyes when they found 2-3 kids to a cot, no one there to hold them or change their bedding when they went to the bathroom, and other horrible conditions. As they left, they stopped at the gate to pray, and in tears, decided that they would never come back to an orphanage like that again if it was only going to be for one day and they weren't able to do anything to better the lives of any of the children there.
His wife told him, "I think God wants us to jump into a river, and we're not real sure where it's going or where we'll end up, but I think we need to jump in."
So they returned to the orphanage and asked for a child under six months old with a medical condition that they could treat (his wife is a doctor) and they left with a little baby girl and the intention of treating her medical condition and finding someone to adopt her.
All the while, a beautiful, young, ten year-old Asian girl who speaks fluent English is running around asking when they're going to leave. She found a home alright, and as you probably predicted at the beginning of the story, they ended up adopting her themselves.
They also have "special care units" throughout this region where they care for children who likely have less than a week to live. Other orphanages would just let them sit in a room by themselves with no food or care for a week until they die (apparently to try not to prolong their suffering), but NHF takes these children and makes sure they're comfortable and have food to eat if they want it. Sixty percent of those children usually do end up passing away, but that means that FORTY PERCENT that would have otherwise been left for dead are saved and likely later adopted. I could go on and on about this place but I'll let you go to the website yourself. Also check out this website, to see how they have partnered with Steven Curtis Chapman's organization, Show Hope.
The whole time we were being given the tour, I found myself holding back tears. Not because I was sad. Not because we were in a place with almost 60 children without a home. Not even because of some of the horrible medical conditions some of them suffered from. I think I had prepared myself for all of those things. Instead, I found myself being really emotional about how God had used this one couple, and this ONE seemingly "crazy" decision that they made to give everything up and start this from the ground, up, to both save and change hundreds of orphans' lives. What started as a "holy discontent" from the suffering of these children turned into a massive organization that cares for and gives love to hundreds of orphans.
As we played with these kids for the next four hours,
(Sidenote: this might be the only place in the entire world where arm and chest hair is appreciated! One kid, after stroking my arms and trying to pull out chunks of hair pulled out my shirt to, surprise, find even more hair! I proceeded to tell him in his language, "Yes, I am very hairy. Do you have hair?" He then showed me that he didn't have any hair, and pointed to every other kid in the room and told me that they also didn't have body hair.)
I tried to pray for this organization and the kids, but more than anything, the words, "Thank you," kept coming to my lips. Thank You, God, for this organization and for using this ONE couple and their ONE decision to impact so many lives, both in this life and the next.
I want MY life to be used for something significant like this. But what I realized is that nothing significant happens unless significant sacrifices or steps of faith are made. People literally thought this couple was going through a mid-life crisis when they made the decision to do this, and I'm sure even they were scared to give up everything they had and do this, but what seemed like major sacrifices at the time have certainly been rewarded and God has used them in incredible ways.
I'll leave you with part of my journal entry from later that night:
"God, there are so many needs around the world. How can I just sit here and be content to go about my life as usual? I feel like there are so many things I could do with my future but there are also so many people willing to do most of those things. I want to help and serve in ways that You're waiting for someone to step up in! Give me a burning passion for something that's on YOUR heart. I WILL go!
This is what I want my life to be about: Living on the edge with radical faith that leads me to do "crazy" things that no one else would do or care for people that no one else will.
Help me to feed these desires and passions and to live them out. Don't let this die here. There's too much at stake! Show me what your heart burns for that no one else is stepping up to the plate and taking on. Thanks for Your great love and mercy!"
Check back within the next day or two and I will hopefully have another post up with more stories from the orphanage.
-CK
This past weekend, some of my friends and I had the opportunity to take a trip to an orphanage called New Hope. This particular orphanage is home to 50-some orphan children, most of whom are between the ages of six months and three years old.
From the minute we walked into this place, I was absolutely blown away. From the founder's story of how they decided to start an orphanage to how clean, organized, and efficient they are at meeting the children's needs, everything was very impressive. I would imagine that many orphanages can be a place of hopelessness and suffering, but that wasn't the case here. As soon as we walked through the doors, we were met with a blast of life, energy, love, and hope.Before I end up sounding like an inspirational speaker, I'll leave it at that and tell you a little more about our day.
When we first arrived, the husband of the couple that started this organization gave us a short history of how things began and didn't shy away from telling us that he and his wife are Christians and that it was their faith that led them to leave behind their jobs and devote their lives to helping orphans in this country. He explained that something like ten years ago, they visited a different orphanage in a more rural area and couldn't believe their eyes when they found 2-3 kids to a cot, no one there to hold them or change their bedding when they went to the bathroom, and other horrible conditions. As they left, they stopped at the gate to pray, and in tears, decided that they would never come back to an orphanage like that again if it was only going to be for one day and they weren't able to do anything to better the lives of any of the children there.
His wife told him, "I think God wants us to jump into a river, and we're not real sure where it's going or where we'll end up, but I think we need to jump in."
So they returned to the orphanage and asked for a child under six months old with a medical condition that they could treat (his wife is a doctor) and they left with a little baby girl and the intention of treating her medical condition and finding someone to adopt her.
All the while, a beautiful, young, ten year-old Asian girl who speaks fluent English is running around asking when they're going to leave. She found a home alright, and as you probably predicted at the beginning of the story, they ended up adopting her themselves.
But this process began what became The New Hope Foundation, that has several orphanages around East Asia, caring for a total of over 150 young orphans with life-threatening medical conditions from all over East Asia and employing over 270 people. Most orphanages are lucky to have one nanny to every ten children, but New Hope has one nanny to every TWO children. They actually go into other orphanages and find children who meet their criteria and then bring them to the city to care for them.
They also have "special care units" throughout this region where they care for children who likely have less than a week to live. Other orphanages would just let them sit in a room by themselves with no food or care for a week until they die (apparently to try not to prolong their suffering), but NHF takes these children and makes sure they're comfortable and have food to eat if they want it. Sixty percent of those children usually do end up passing away, but that means that FORTY PERCENT that would have otherwise been left for dead are saved and likely later adopted. I could go on and on about this place but I'll let you go to the website yourself. Also check out this website, to see how they have partnered with Steven Curtis Chapman's organization, Show Hope.
The whole time we were being given the tour, I found myself holding back tears. Not because I was sad. Not because we were in a place with almost 60 children without a home. Not even because of some of the horrible medical conditions some of them suffered from. I think I had prepared myself for all of those things. Instead, I found myself being really emotional about how God had used this one couple, and this ONE seemingly "crazy" decision that they made to give everything up and start this from the ground, up, to both save and change hundreds of orphans' lives. What started as a "holy discontent" from the suffering of these children turned into a massive organization that cares for and gives love to hundreds of orphans.
As we played with these kids for the next four hours,
(Sidenote: this might be the only place in the entire world where arm and chest hair is appreciated! One kid, after stroking my arms and trying to pull out chunks of hair pulled out my shirt to, surprise, find even more hair! I proceeded to tell him in his language, "Yes, I am very hairy. Do you have hair?" He then showed me that he didn't have any hair, and pointed to every other kid in the room and told me that they also didn't have body hair.)
I tried to pray for this organization and the kids, but more than anything, the words, "Thank you," kept coming to my lips. Thank You, God, for this organization and for using this ONE couple and their ONE decision to impact so many lives, both in this life and the next.
I want MY life to be used for something significant like this. But what I realized is that nothing significant happens unless significant sacrifices or steps of faith are made. People literally thought this couple was going through a mid-life crisis when they made the decision to do this, and I'm sure even they were scared to give up everything they had and do this, but what seemed like major sacrifices at the time have certainly been rewarded and God has used them in incredible ways.
I'll leave you with part of my journal entry from later that night:
"God, there are so many needs around the world. How can I just sit here and be content to go about my life as usual? I feel like there are so many things I could do with my future but there are also so many people willing to do most of those things. I want to help and serve in ways that You're waiting for someone to step up in! Give me a burning passion for something that's on YOUR heart. I WILL go!
This is what I want my life to be about: Living on the edge with radical faith that leads me to do "crazy" things that no one else would do or care for people that no one else will.
Help me to feed these desires and passions and to live them out. Don't let this die here. There's too much at stake! Show me what your heart burns for that no one else is stepping up to the plate and taking on. Thanks for Your great love and mercy!"
Check back within the next day or two and I will hopefully have another post up with more stories from the orphanage.
-CK
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